Dried Rose Petals, Red-Brown Circles

Originally published April 27th, 2019.

~~~

Kairi's hair hung stringy around her face, framing her cheeks in a way that reminded her far too much of how it felt after she took a swim on the Islands.

If her senses had been blessed with the smell of seawater instead of sulfur, she might have been able to close her eyes and pretend that's exactly what happened. She just went swimming within the past few hours. Maybe sparred a bit. Worked up a sweat. A shower was all she needed, and then she'd be ready to go.

Instead, she was sitting on a cold, hard floor made of shadow, and the darkness in this in-between place seeped down her spine and through her eyelids, no matter how tightly she kept them shut.

She rubbed the spot where her arm met her hand. Her freshest memory at the moment was the sensation of a phantom black glove, its fingers wrapping around and nearly crushing her righthand wrist. She expected bruising.

It had been about an hour or two since she was tossed in here, but Kairi couldn't tell. It might have been minutes or days since she arrived, and it wouldn't have made a difference to her.

She still felt like sobbing and screaming at the top of her lungs, but she had run out of tears by now, and her voice was hoarse from her previous attempts at screams.

She hated herself in that moment.

Hated that she hadn't fought back against Xemnas. Hated the way that she just hung limp once he grabbed her by the arm. Hated the way that her soul felt like it had left her body after she felt his grasp, only able to yelp "Sora!" before she gave out.

(Apparently, being kidnapped once before had left a profound effect on her. She hoped Axel hadn't seen her face. She had forgiven him already, but he hadn't forgiven himself, and that wouldn't be helped by her lingering reflexes.)

Look at her. Stuck in a limbo-like prison literally made out of shadows, and she was worried about Axel's feelings. About failing someone else. She would have scoffed at herself, but it was hard to breathe here.

Kairi opened her eyes and stared at the ceiling (or at least, the part of the void room that stretched upwards). She hoped she hadn't failed her training partner, the one she had come to see as a brother. She tried to save him before, when the demon tide came, but she couldn't. She held on to him as the Heartless swept them up, sending out bursts of light magic to try and blast them away, but there were too many. There were too many.

She couldn't save the others, either. None of them. Not even...

Why did they need her here? Because she's a Princess of Heart? Was that all?

It wasn't because she was strong enough to fight. She knew that much, at least. She wouldn't be in this cell otherwise.

She was one of the seven lights, and one of the seven princesses, and she had no clue what either of those things meant. Nobody had bothered to tell her. Nobody bothered to tell her anything. And why should they?

She had no idea what responsibilities even came with being a Princess, much less with being part of a prophecy. Should she be doing something special? Something smart? Something.... just something?

A vivid memory of clutching Sora to her chest while he was a Heartless popped into Kairi's head. Another memory along with it: Riku standing at the grotesque altar-like platform.

Sora. Riku.

She took in a deep, shuddering breath.

They were probably looking for her. Maybe they were still making their way through the Organization, or maybe they had finished them off already. Maybe the Organization finished them off.

No, no. She shook her head to herself. Sora, Riku, and the others would defeat them. They'd be okay.

She dug her fingernails into her palm; she needed to stop beating herself up. Kairi believed in them, and they believed in her.

Just thinking about Sora and Riku's faces helped her breathe a little easier. If she wrapped her arms around herself, she could almost remember what being held by them felt like.

Her moment of self-comfort, the first one since she had been thrown in here, was unceremoniously cut short by the tell-tale sound of whooshing coming from a few feet across the void.

A dark portal materialized, and she was expecting her captor Xemnas, but it was someone else who stepped out: Xehanort.

He smiled at her, and it would have appeared good-natured if one didn't know the context. She shrunk into herself and avoided looking at him.

This was the first time Kairi had ever really seen the villain up close, and she didn't particularly want to become much more familiar with him. He wasn't remarkably tall, but his presence was imposing. It was something about his eyes, his smile, the way he held his hands behind his back, looking at her as if this were a diplomatic meeting.

He spoke, and his voice sounded like a normal old man's. An elderly resident of the Islands could have had the same voice and she wouldn't have batted an eye. "It's time for you to play your part in this story, your Highness."

Your Highness. She pursed her lips.

Her voice came out as almost a croak when she responded. "I..."

"Yes. You." Xehanort's hands were still clasped behind his back. He sounded almost proud.

She stared at the ground, not willing to move for a moment, frozen in apprehension.

Then, a thought popped into her head. Her breath hitched in her throat. It was the first time she had felt hopeful since she was dropped in this place, and it was a long shot, but it gave her a rush of resolve.

Her eyes met his, and Kairi spoke a full sentence for the first time in hours, her voice scratchy. "You need me, don't you? You need me for your plan to work." She ignored the way his yellow irises burned into hers. "I'm the last piece."

Xehanort's answer was almost instantaneous, but not abrupt, as if he was expecting her question. "Of course. You're instrumental in all of this, my dear."

"I figured as much." A lock of red hair fell into Kairi's vision, but she made no attempt to move it.

She made up her mind that very second. All of the uncertainty had left her body as soon as she heart Xehanort confirm her suspicions.

There was the possibility of trying to fight, of trying to resist him, but she knew she stood no chance against him. He was an old Master, seemingly as old as Keyblades themselves, and he had a lifetime of experience and power on his side.

She was... well, she was Kairi from Destiny Islands, but it didn't matter who she was. She knew her best efforts would make no difference against him. Almost nobody's best efforts would. Even Yen Sid was probably barely a match for him.

She knew what she had to do. What was best for the others.

Kairi thought about standing up, but she stayed seated. Her muscles ached from sitting on the ground for so long, and they'd have to stay that way a moment longer. "I'll do it. I'll be your key. I won't fight, or struggle, or anything else." Her mouth tasted like metal. "I'll... play my part."

Xehanort smiled again, pleased. He offered his arm to her. "Wonderful."

She didn't take his arm. More eye contact. "On one condition."

"Ah?" He raised an eyebrow, lowering his arm for a moment. "And what would that be?"

"You don't hurt them."

The two of them regarded each other for a moment. He looked at her like she wasn't completely at his mercy; she knew that he knew she was, but he didn't show it.

Kairi repeated, "You don't hurt any of them. You don't go after any of them." She sat up a little straighter, made marginally more confident by his reaction. "Those... those are my terms."

Xehanort smiled again and looked almost amused. "But what if they come after me? Under these rules, what shall I do then, if I'm unable to defend myself?"

"You can defend yourself if they come after you. I wouldn't expect otherwise. But they might not." She pushed away the thought of her boys seeing her die and being too shaken to even fight back. If she focused on that, she'd break down again. "And if they don't, then you leave them alone. And in return... I won't put up a fight."

He stroked his beard as she leaned against the wall of the dark prison, willing fire into her heart and hoping that it showed in her eyes.

After a moment, Xehanort closed his eyes contentedly, nodding once at the girl. "Very well. I accept your terms. No harm will come to the other lights by my hand, as long as they comply with fate's design."

Kairi nodded back and sighed shakily.

Uneasy relief filled her chest. She knew he was lying.

Of course the others would go after Xehanort, and even if they didn't, even if every single one of them fell to their knees and accepted defeat that easily, Xehanort would still make sure they wouldn't be a threat to this plans.

Kairi wasn't stupid. She knew this deal meant nothing in terms of what Xehanort would do.

What she did know, after having this conversation, is that it would mean something in terms of his disposition.

She hadn't spent much time around the man, but she could tell he was confident and sure of himself. She could also tell that he really believed that was he was doing was right. Knowing this, she figured complying with him would put him in a good mood. Make him a little too confident.

Sora, Riku, and the others would defeat him. Kairi had all the faith in the world that they would. But she was going to do everything she could to make it as easy as possible, and an over-confident opponent is much easier to take down.

Kairi was going to die either way. She knew this, and she wanted to make it a sacrifice for her friends rather than a pointless death, whether Xehanort knew it or not.

Xehanort offered his arm again. "Are you ready to help begin the world anew?"

Kairi stood up with no assistance offered nor taken. She looked him in the eye again, his sinister, amber eyes, and took his arm.

She still didn't have a clue what her responsibilities as a Princess of Heart entailed, but for the first time since her adventure started, she felt like she was finally fulfilling them. 

Princesses were selfless, so she once more tried her hardest not to think about the comfort of her home, her islands, her friends, the loves of her life who were out in that horrible desert fighting for the world -- that would be selfish.

Instead, she held her chin up like she saw a princess in a picture book do once, and was led through the newly-formed portal by her executioner.